I’m packing my bags and moving out. Well not literally. But this is my announcement. No more photography. I am finished! Done!
Photography has been a great journey. I have learned a lot about myself through doing photography. I have also learned that its not a career I would like to pursue. It should just be a hobby. It’s something I love doing. But yet. It is so time consuming that I just don’t want to do it anymore. Its hard to give something up that you have done for 3 years. I guess I am not giving it up. I am just burnt out. I am not going to be a “Photographer” anymore. I am not going to take pictures for people anymore. And I realized I am doing it for all the wrong reasons. Heres my story about “Why” I am not doing it anymore.
So you know when you get that feeling that something in your life is missing? Well thats how I started to feel. And usually when that happens I know that something isn’t right. I am very kinesthetic so I know when something is wrong, or when something is missing. Photography isn’t getting me where I want to be. I feel like when I do photography I am walking backwards. Instead of walking forward. You see. I have this void. A void in my heart that can’t be field with photography as a career choice. That void is singing. Singing is my TOP passion, the thing in life I LOVE to do! And I realize the more I don’t pursue a career in singing, the less happy I am. The more I don’t do what I love! The less happy I am. Meh 😦
So. A few months ago I started praying. I started praying hard. With so much confusion I was getting exhausted and I was getting hit hard. I had come to a tunnel and I couldn’t find the light at the end of it. So I hit my knees. When I had finished I got up off of my knees and waited. I waited for a long time. No answer came. So I guess I kept playing the waiting game until finally I got my answer. NO MORE PHOTOGRAPHY! Singing, and MyFunLife were my options. They weren’t options. I was actually told to do them both.
A week or two later, I got an email from a friend telling me she had found a Photographer Wanted Job on Craigslist for a wedding. I thought to myself. Wow. Awesome! We REALLY need the money! I am going to do that! So I applied, and got the Job for the Wedding on Saturday July 13! I was excited (I guess because I tend to get a little greedy) haha. But wait a minute. It was the SAME day as my recital for singing. The one I had been working hard for since the beginning of summer. The one that I had put some much time and money into. And did I mention I had worked really REALLY hard for it?! What do you think I did instead? Well. I missed my recital and took the job. Being stupid, I guess. After I was told NO MORE PHOTOGRAPHY! But we really “needed” the money!
The night I got home from doing the photography wedding shoot. I was EXHAUSTED! Not only that I was really upset and cranky. I got paid ALOT of money that day. However… no amount of money could make up for me missing my recital! There will always be other recitals I told myself before the photo shoot. But that recital was really important to me. My husband told me that night, “Brielle, you are really good at photography, but you seem to really hate doing it. You shouldn’t do it anymore.” He was right. Its not what I LOVE to do! After a week of being sick from that one day of taking pictures. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to be doing photography anymore. That I was for sure finished. It was enough for me to figure out that I was done. I am certain I got sick because I had failed to do what I truly loved to do that day!
So there is my story! No more photography!